The Journey to Self Love

What is self love?

Self love is the result of the time and commitment you put into yourself in order to grow into the person you know you’re meant to be. We practice self love by utilizing different methods of self care in our daily routine. 

Although on the surface self love can look like bubble baths and facials, there is a lot more to it than meets the eye. Achieving a state of self love is where you can confidently admire who you truly are, acknowledge that your flaws are what makes you unique and know your worth. 

All that you are meant to be is already inside of you.  Sometimes it takes a little silencing of distractions in order to tune in and listen to what you’ve been neglecting in your mind, body and soul.

I view the journey to self love as a 3 phase process: unfulfillment, curiosity and the leap.

Phase 1: Unfulfillment

Self love doesn’t come automatically to many people. Sometimes we don’t even know that we are lacking in that department. However, the feeling of unfulfillment doesn’t lie. If you aren’t practicing self love, that is, taking care of your mind, body and spirit then you will ultimately feel unfulfilled. 

You will find that even if you have everything in your life you’ve ever wanted there is a nagging feeling deep inside of you. It may show up as a calling, a yearn for change, or even as anxiety. What I’ve learned recently is that success does not equate to fulfillment. Just like how hard work does not necessarily make you successful. 

Chasing your dreams and grinding is all fine and dandy, but like with most other things, balance is necessary. If you haven’t tended to the calling of your mind, body and spirit then you will likely wake up one day (or everyday) with that nagging feeling otherwise known as unfulfillment. 

This is a good time to hone in and get curious. Which brings me to the next phase:

Phase 2: Curiosity 

Being curious about your state of mind is a good way of zooming into the areas of yourself that you have been knowingly (or unknowingly) neglecting. Are you spreading yourself out too thin? Are you committing more than you should be? Are you constantly canceling or rescheduling the plans you had for yourself?

This is a good place to lay your life out on paper. And that is not an easy thing to do. This is why I journal. It is nearly impossible to identify all the areas in which you’ve been flaky with yourself. But when you journal every day, you come to terms with your thoughts. You identify your patterns and the language you use with yourself. Is your internal voice a positive one? Or does it judge you often and make you feel bad about yourself? What does your shadow say about you? What are the parts of yourself you have been suppressing out of fear? Shame? Guilt?

This is the time to analyze and assess what needs attention, what needs changing and what simply needs to go. When we aren’t regularly in tune with ourselves and are overcome by the external factors of our lives, it is easy to not only lose track of time, but to lose track of ourselves.

I will state that although these are good practices, if you are in a rough place, please seek help from a professional. Therapy can do wonders and asking for help is fundamental to self love.

Phase 3: The Leap

Once you’ve gathered all of your data from the curiosity phase, then it’s time to take the leap. This is where it gets chaotic before it gets fun. This is the phase where you take action, you explore and you get comfortable feeling uncomfortable. 

In the journey to self love sometimes you have to change one thing and other times you have to change everything. This process involves unlearning, forgiving and letting go of the things that no longer serve you. It means cutting off toxic relationships with friends (and sometimes even family). It means implementing new systems in place of your old, broken ones. 

It also means doing more of the things that make you happy. It can be as simple as drinking your coffee in silence in front of your window every morning. Or reading your favorite book, or playing your favorite game.

Taking the leap means that you are ready to get efficient with your time. You practice new systems– because let’s be honest, nobody knows wtf they’re doing and sometimes it takes a little bit of trial and error. 

The main thing is that you stop repeating the same old cycles that did not give you the results that you desired. 

But, what happens when you love yourself? What’s the point?

Well, for one, you’re going to be a hell of a lot happier.

You’re also going to be a little more fearless, more confident and extremely protective of your peace.

You’re going to be bold and stand up firmly for what you believe in.

You’re going to find that your boundaries are non-negotiable and you won’t tolerate anyone overstepping them.

You’re going to enjoy waking up every morning and look forward to taking care of yourself because you realize how worthy you are of all the good things that life has to offer.

And because you have found that love for yourself, you will have more love to give to the world.

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Thank you so much for reading! Happy Spring!

Love & Light,

Cindy Natalia